I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize