Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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