I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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