my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
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