Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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