he told me I talked like a deaf person
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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