I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He? As in you personified your dick?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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