laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
