she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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