Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I love having hate sex.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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