Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
