She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
operation harelip BJ is a go
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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