everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
