apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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