So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
it hurts more in the daytime
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
