life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
you will always have a special place in my vag
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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