True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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