apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
