last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
