Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize