He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
