he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
