Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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