that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize