so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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