I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
