I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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