also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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