Fuck appropriateness.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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