so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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