Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
