In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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