There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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