If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
