You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
