I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
