so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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