Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
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