Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
