so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
