Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
