We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
