i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
This is my gift to your gina
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
