I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
