I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he fucked my hip out of place.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
