I hate all girls vehemently.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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