I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
