not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's rum buckets o'clock
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
