Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Found the puke drawer
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
