I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
What a dumb baby whore.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
