i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
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