So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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