We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
