Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
