And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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