ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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