It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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